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 Chapter 1 Part 1

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Obelisk Blue
Obelisk Blue


Number of posts : 278
Age : 26
Location : the Air

DC: 50

PostSubject: Chapter 1 Part 1   2009-07-26, 12:13

here is the first part of chapter 1 of my fan fic about my Rising Card's Series. hope you enjoyy.

if you want to see my Rising Card Series, click the following link:

Chapter 1 – the new kid in town

name: Ryan Karino
age: 17
deck type: Rising
Spirit Partner: Raziel, Rising Dawn

*We begin with Ryan sitting on a bench in a town he just moved to with his grandfather. The town is Corona, California. It’s about 4 o’clock and Ryan is just chilling their with his eyes closed when all of a sudden you hear Raziel’s voice right before appearing their next to him.

: Hey! What in the world do you think your doing?!

Ryan: (spastically) Whaaaa!? (Turns to see Raziel) Ohh, hey Raz what’s up?

Raziel: What’s up? What’s up is your grandfather told you to do one very small task while he went away for the day and you have yet to do that!

Ryan: (thinking deeply) Ohh right I forgot. Sorry. So…what did he want again?

Raziel: (sighs) You’re so hopeless…he wanted you to go get more bread for him cause you ate it all.

Ryan: If I’m as hopeless as you say I am, why do you continue to stick around with me ayy?

Raziel: (laughing) You know, I ask myself the same thing. But don’t forget I can leave whenever I want.

Ryan: (shocked) Whaaa? No don’t say that Raziel! I could never take another easy breath again if you were to leave!

Raziel: (laughing some more) So, I’m like asthma?

Ryan: (laughing with her now) Ahahaa. Let’s get the bread.

*Raziel Disapears. Ryan finally stands up and starts walking in the direction of the store.

Ryan: Umm. Hey Raz? I dont know where the store is...

Raziel’s voice: why don’t you ask around then? See that guy right there? ask him for directions.

*Ryan runs up to the man as the man turns around. They bump into each other. Turns out this man is easily tempered.

Man: Hey! Watch we’re ya going! Ya dig what I’m sayin?

Ryan: Whoa sorry bro. Chill out. (Whispering to Raziel) I think this guy thinks he’s ghetto ahaa.

Man: Who are you talking to now punk?

Ryan: (with some attitude) no one you can prove. Now who exactly are you?

Zach: the names Zach. And I don’t like your tude.

Ryan: Yea? Well you better get used to it cause my "tude's" not leaving. So what are you gonna do?

*Zach takes out a duel disk.

Ryan: You want to duel?

Zach: Is that not obvious? You’re a duelist aren’t ya?

Ryan: You better believe it.

Zach: So then lets go.

Ryan: You’re on!

*Raziel appears next to Ryan.

Raziel: Ryan, you’re being sidetracked again. The bread remember? Your grandpa’s coming home soon.

Ryan: Ah Raz you worry too much. This’ll be over quick.

Ryan & Zach: (together) Let’s duel!
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Number of posts : 822
Age : 27
Location : Mexico

DC: 4855

PostSubject: Re: Chapter 1 Part 1   2009-07-26, 14:12

Well, your story sound intersting, I didn't exepected those two would start a duel.

However, this is not youtube, in other words, you shouldn't split it in three topics, keep it in one topic only. Why? Well...if you don't, this section will be full of toics like this one and it'll be hard to brose...You get my point?

Any admin merge the 3 topics in one...I think there should be a fanfiction section or this though.
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Obelisk Blue
Obelisk Blue


Number of posts : 278
Age : 26
Location : the Air

DC: 50

PostSubject: Re: Chapter 1 Part 1   2009-07-26, 14:45

reason to my posting it in 3 parts: the chapter 1 too big for 1, even 2 posts. and i didnt want to make it look like i was double posting.
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Heaven's Girl
Heaven's Girl


Number of posts : 1680
Location : The Heavens

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PostSubject: Re: Chapter 1 Part 1   2009-07-26, 17:33

No need for seperate topics of each chapter, it's okay if you double post while posting the chapters, it won't slow the server down. Smile


So yeah, keep them in one topic, you can change the name of, "Table of Contents" to the name of your story. Smile

"In my wildest dreams, you always play the hero. In my darkest hour of night, you rescue me, you save my life."

私の狂乱した夢で、あなたは常にヒーローでプレーします。 私の夜の最も暗い時間で、あなたは私を救助します、あなたは私の生命を救います。

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